Libertarian Librarian

Wow, this was HARD. Trying to narrow it down to 25 is really restrictive. I could come up with 25 great lines just from Ghostbusters. But okay, bite the bullet, so to speak, and see what I can come up with. My list, contrary to the AFI list, is biased towards the comedies, because I think the great comedic lines stick with us, and are used by us, far more often than the dramatic ones. For a great movie line site, go here.

Top 25 Movie Quotes of All Time:

25) Ball 4... Ball 8... Ball 12. How can they be laying off pitches that close? Major League, 1989. So many great lines in this movie. Uecker was awesome.
24) Strange women lying about in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975. Another movie that could get you 25 great lines easy.
23) Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hangin curveball, high fiber, good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe there ought to be a Constitutional ammendment outlawing astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than on Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three nights. Bull Durham, 1988. Now that's a quote.
22) Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy. The Outlaw Josey Wales, 1976. Classic Clint.
21) Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! Ghostbusters, 1984. Only one of many, but perhaps my favorite of them all.
20) May the force be with you. Star Wars, 1977. Not a top 10, like AFI has it, but deserving nonetheless.
19) There's no crying in baseball. A League of Their Own, 1992. Gotta have at least one Tom Hanks line on the list.
18) Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Animal House, 1978. The AFI list didn't even have the best Animal House quotes on their list.
17) Cinderella story here at Augusta, former groundskeeper comes from behind to lead the pack. Caddyshack, 1980. Another movie that could fill up 25 quotes easy.
16) What we have here is a failure to communicate. Cool Hand Luke, 1967. Not all of the AFI picks were horrible.
15) Dr. Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Dr. Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Airplane, 1980. Awww... subtlety, thy name is not known to the Zucker brothers. Thank goodness.
14) It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it. The Blues Brothers, 1980. Ah, Johnny boy, we hardly knew ye.
13) Here's looking at you kid. Casablanca, 1942. Gotta have a Bogart quote in here. It's like a rule.
12) Indiana Jones: There's a big snake in the plane, Jock!
Jock: Oh, that's just my pet snake, Reggie.
Indiana Jones: I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em!
Jock: C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya? Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981. Just my personal favorite Indi quote.
11) I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. Blade Runner, 1982. Rutger Hauer is a very underrated actor, and everything about this movie was fantastic.
10) I THINK YOU'RE ALL FUCKED IN THE HEAD! WE'RE THREE HOURS FROM THE FUCKIN' FUN PARK AND YOU WANT TO BAIL OUT! WELL I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING! THIS IS NO LONGER A VACATION! IT'S A QUEST. IT'S A QUEST FOR FUN! I'M GONNA HAVE FUN AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FUN! WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUCKIN' FUN WE'RE GONNA NEED PLASTIC SURGERY TO REMOVE OUR GODDAMN SMILES! WE'LL ALL BE WHISTLIN' ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH OUT OF OUR ASSHOLES! I GOTTA BE CRAZY! I'M ON A QUEST TO SEE A MOOSE! PRAISE MARTY MOOSE! National Lampoon's Vacation, 1983. You have to have a Chevy Chase quote in here, particularly one where he just loses it. It's like... well, you know.
9) YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Son we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Wienburg? I have more responsilbility here than you could possibly fathom. In places you don't want to talk about at parties, you want me on that wall...you need me on that wall. We use words like honour, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to! A Few Good Men, 1992. There is so much more to this line than just the first sentence. And you gotta have at least one Jack Nicholson line in a top 25 list. It's like a rule.
8) Yippie Kie Yay, Motherfucker! Die Hard, 1988. Perhaps the ulitmate action hero line. Makes Schwarzenegger's lines sound kinda lame.
7) Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Gone With the Wind, 1939. Nearly 70 years later, this one still resonates.
6) So i get a job loopin' for none other than the Dhali Lama himself, the bald head, the flowing robes...striking! So we get up on the first tee and he whacks off about a 10,000 foot crevice down into this glacier, a big hitter the llama....Long. So he turns to me and says oonga-lagoonga..oonga-goonga-lagrunga. So we finish 18 and he starts to walk off...you know tries to stiff me and I say 'Hey Dhali! Hey Lama! How about somethin' for the effort you know? ....a little moola' and he says 'Oh there will be no money but on your deathbed you will receive total consciousness'....so I got dat goin for me....which is nice. Caddyshack, 1980. Simply outstanding. Maybe should be higher?
5) We're on a mission from God. The Blues Brothers, 1980. Pretty well sums it up, huh?
4) I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. Apocalypse Now, 1979. Who doesn't?
3) Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975. Set the stage for all the inspired lunacy that was to follow, in this movie, in their other movies and in tons of other peoples' movies.
2) I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk? Dirty Harry, 1971. Hard to beat Clint at his best.
1) I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. The Godfather, 1972. Brando at the top of his game takes home the prize. There are tons of lines in this movie that are unforgettable, but this is the one that sums it all up.

UPDATE: I realized I left off two of the AFI quotes that were actually worth having on the list. Brando in On the Waterfront (AFI's #3) and DeNiro's "You Talkin' to Me?" in Taxi Driver (#10). They should both probably be in the top 25. I'd peg Brando at 10, and De Niro at 17. Which bumps Uecker and one Python quote out of the top 25. Maybe I shouldda cheated and put in ties. Nah.

So there it is. It was tempting at times to just pick a movie (Ghostbusters, The Godfather, The Holy Grail, etc.) instead of just one or two quotes from those movies, but that seemed cheesy. I had about 50 lines that could've made the list, and obviously half of them didn't. Here are my honorable mentions in no particular order:

So, can you name all the films those quotes go with? Alright intrepid readers, snark goggles on. Target acquired. Ready, aim, fire.

Labels: Lists

Posted by: Nick W. / 12:29 PM