A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library. ~Shelby Foote

Friday, June 24, 2005

Friday's List, part ii

Wow, this was HARD. Trying to narrow it down to 25 is really restrictive. I could come up with 25 great lines just from Ghostbusters. But okay, bite the bullet, so to speak, and see what I can come up with. My list, contrary to the AFI list, is biased towards the comedies, because I think the great comedic lines stick with us, and are used by us, far more often than the dramatic ones. For a great movie line site, go here.

Top 25 Movie Quotes of All Time:

25) Ball 4... Ball 8... Ball 12. How can they be laying off pitches that close? Major League, 1989. So many great lines in this movie. Uecker was awesome.
24) Strange women lying about in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975. Another movie that could get you 25 great lines easy.
23) Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hangin curveball, high fiber, good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe there ought to be a Constitutional ammendment outlawing astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than on Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three nights. Bull Durham, 1988. Now that's a quote.
22) Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy. The Outlaw Josey Wales, 1976. Classic Clint.
21) Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! Ghostbusters, 1984. Only one of many, but perhaps my favorite of them all.
20) May the force be with you. Star Wars, 1977. Not a top 10, like AFI has it, but deserving nonetheless.
19) There's no crying in baseball. A League of Their Own, 1992. Gotta have at least one Tom Hanks line on the list.
18) Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Animal House, 1978. The AFI list didn't even have the best Animal House quotes on their list.
17) Cinderella story here at Augusta, former groundskeeper comes from behind to lead the pack. Caddyshack, 1980. Another movie that could fill up 25 quotes easy.
16) What we have here is a failure to communicate. Cool Hand Luke, 1967. Not all of the AFI picks were horrible.
15) Dr. Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Dr. Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Airplane, 1980. Awww... subtlety, thy name is not known to the Zucker brothers. Thank goodness.
14) It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it. The Blues Brothers, 1980. Ah, Johnny boy, we hardly knew ye.
13) Here's looking at you kid. Casablanca, 1942. Gotta have a Bogart quote in here. It's like a rule.
12) Indiana Jones: There's a big snake in the plane, Jock!
Jock: Oh, that's just my pet snake, Reggie.
Indiana Jones: I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em!
Jock: C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya? Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981. Just my personal favorite Indi quote.
11) I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. Blade Runner, 1982. Rutger Hauer is a very underrated actor, and everything about this movie was fantastic.
10) I THINK YOU'RE ALL FUCKED IN THE HEAD! WE'RE THREE HOURS FROM THE FUCKIN' FUN PARK AND YOU WANT TO BAIL OUT! WELL I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING! THIS IS NO LONGER A VACATION! IT'S A QUEST. IT'S A QUEST FOR FUN! I'M GONNA HAVE FUN AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FUN! WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUCKIN' FUN WE'RE GONNA NEED PLASTIC SURGERY TO REMOVE OUR GODDAMN SMILES! WE'LL ALL BE WHISTLIN' ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH OUT OF OUR ASSHOLES! I GOTTA BE CRAZY! I'M ON A QUEST TO SEE A MOOSE! PRAISE MARTY MOOSE! National Lampoon's Vacation, 1983. You have to have a Chevy Chase quote in here, particularly one where he just loses it. It's like... well, you know.
9) YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Son we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Wienburg? I have more responsilbility here than you could possibly fathom. In places you don't want to talk about at parties, you want me on that wall...you need me on that wall. We use words like honour, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to! A Few Good Men, 1992. There is so much more to this line than just the first sentence. And you gotta have at least one Jack Nicholson line in a top 25 list. It's like a rule.
8) Yippie Kie Yay, Motherfucker! Die Hard, 1988. Perhaps the ulitmate action hero line. Makes Schwarzenegger's lines sound kinda lame.
7) Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Gone With the Wind, 1939. Nearly 70 years later, this one still resonates.
6) So i get a job loopin' for none other than the Dhali Lama himself, the bald head, the flowing robes...striking! So we get up on the first tee and he whacks off about a 10,000 foot crevice down into this glacier, a big hitter the llama....Long. So he turns to me and says oonga-lagoonga..oonga-goonga-lagrunga. So we finish 18 and he starts to walk off...you know tries to stiff me and I say 'Hey Dhali! Hey Lama! How about somethin' for the effort you know? ....a little moola' and he says 'Oh there will be no money but on your deathbed you will receive total consciousness'....so I got dat goin for me....which is nice. Caddyshack, 1980. Simply outstanding. Maybe should be higher?
5) We're on a mission from God. The Blues Brothers, 1980. Pretty well sums it up, huh?
4) I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. Apocalypse Now, 1979. Who doesn't?
3) Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975. Set the stage for all the inspired lunacy that was to follow, in this movie, in their other movies and in tons of other peoples' movies.
2) I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk? Dirty Harry, 1971. Hard to beat Clint at his best.
1) I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. The Godfather, 1972. Brando at the top of his game takes home the prize. There are tons of lines in this movie that are unforgettable, but this is the one that sums it all up.

UPDATE: I realized I left off two of the AFI quotes that were actually worth having on the list. Brando in On the Waterfront (AFI's #3) and DeNiro's "You Talkin' to Me?" in Taxi Driver (#10). They should both probably be in the top 25. I'd peg Brando at 10, and De Niro at 17. Which bumps Uecker and one Python quote out of the top 25. Maybe I shouldda cheated and put in ties. Nah.

So there it is. It was tempting at times to just pick a movie (Ghostbusters, The Godfather, The Holy Grail, etc.) instead of just one or two quotes from those movies, but that seemed cheesy. I had about 50 lines that could've made the list, and obviously half of them didn't. Here are my honorable mentions in no particular order:

  • Did we give up when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor? No!
  • They can take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!
  • I think he broke his freakin' neck.
  • Where's your other hand? In between two pillows. Those aren't PILLOWS!
  • Run away! Run away!
  • I hate Illinois Nazis.
  • I'll be back.
  • Wax on, wax off.
  • So it's sort of social-- demented and sad, but social.
  • Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas any more.
  • Ya shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My mudder hung me on a hook, once. Once.
  • Ask him about the twinkie.
  • Son of a bitch bastard! I'll get you for this!
  • It's good to be the king.
  • Yes, I want a handjob.
  • Bond, James Bond.
  • Don't drive angry.
  • Get your hands off me you dirty damned ape.
  • Whoa, this is the ugliest hat I've ever seen! Do you get a free bowl of soup with that hat? Oh, it looks good on you though. Whew!
  • Say hello to my little friend.
  • Nice Beaver. Thank you, I just had it stuffed.
  • In Vegas, everybody's gotta watch everybody else. Since the players are looking to beat the casino, the dealers are watching the players. The box men are watching the dealers. The floor men are watching the box men. The pit-bosses are watching the floor men. The shift-bosses are watching the pit-bosses. The casino manager is watching the shift-bosses. I'm watching the casino manager. And the eye-in-the-sky is watching us all.
  • Disturbing the peace?! I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?!
  • So, can you name all the films those quotes go with? Alright intrepid readers, snark goggles on. Target acquired. Ready, aim, fire.

    Labels:

    Comments:
    Excellent list!!!
    I have a couple of other suggestions that I am sure you just didn't think of.

    First, a couple from Clerks:
    "So she f*cked a dead guy. So what? My mom has been f*cking a dead guy for 20 years. I call him dad."
    "I'm not even supposed to be here today."
    And of course, the all time 1 word classic:"37!?!"

    From Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:
    "He loves the cock!" (I think Jay was talking about Rod at the time.)

    A Bill Murray line: "I'm having the weirdest day!" Scrooged

    Another Jack line: "Where does he get those wonderful toys?" Something quality from Batman

    I HAVE MORE BUT MY KEYBOARD JUST SCREWED UP
    I LL POST THEM LATER
     
    A good list. I may supply some of my own in a while. I can name the films for about half of them; half of the rest I clearly recognize but can't place. A few of them I've never heard (honorable mentions) but overall much better than the AFI.
     
    Clerks! Yeah, that was an oversight, no doubt. Doh! I am ashamed to admit that I have not seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Bad blogger! Bad, bad blogger!

    So many Bill Murray lines that could've been included. His deadpan style seems tailormade for this sort of thing. Jack, too, though in a completely different way.
     
    OK, and I missed the best quote from Clerks altogher:
    "Yeah, hello? This is RST Video, customer number 4352. I need to place an order. Okay, I need one of each of the following tapes: 'Whispers in the Wind', 'To Each His Own', 'Put it Where it Doesn't Belong', 'My Pipes Need Cleaning', 'All Tit-Fucking, Volume 8', 'I Need Your Cock', 'Ass Worshiping Rim-Jobbers', 'My Cunt Needs Shafts', 'Cum Clean', 'Cum Gargling Naked Sluts', 'Cum Buns 3', 'Cumming in Socks', 'Cum on Eileen', 'Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum', 'Men Alone 2: The KY Connection', 'Pink Pussy Lips', and, uh, oh yeah, 'All Holes Filled with Hard Cock'. Uh-huh...yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?"

    Plus, the classic:
    Dante: "But you hate people!" Randall: "Yes, but I love gatherings. Ironic, isn't it?"

    And the great song lyric:
    "My love for you is ticking clock, beserker. Would you like the making f*ck, beserker?"

    The link that Nick had for movie quotes has 272 from Clerks. I thinnk that is the entire movie.
     
    Hmmm... took another look at my list and realized there isn't a single line in there that was delivered by a woman. And only one or two in the next 25. What's up with that?

    Am I a sexist pig, or do all the really great lines go to men? I know there's an imbalance in that direction in Hollywood overall, but is it really possible there are no truly memorable lines by women? Or did I just miss 'em?
     
    You're right. Most of the good quotes do come from men. Not sure why this is. Of course, the action genre is a given - most action stars are men. The only memorable action movie quote from a woman that I can think of is when Ripley told the mother alien in Aliens to, "Get away from her, you bitch!" It's an interesting observation though, one that I can't explain. I don't think it's just you, though.

    Also, from your list you are missing all the great quotes from the Star Trek movies. FYI I'm not a Trekkie, but ST: Wrath of Kahn had some very memorable quotes that are often used in every day speech. For instance:

    The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. (Spok)

    Revenge is a dish best served cold. (Kahn)
     
    i think that OUR lists are packed with quotes by men because we dont see many chick flicks....i cant imagine this group getting together for a triple feature of "the notebook"..."divine sisters of nthe ya-ya sisterhood"..and "the way we were"

    in fact the quote high on the AFI list that was from a true chick flick..."love means never having to say you're sorry" was rediculed by our illustrious host

    just a thought

    ps... heres a quote by a woman

    "did he say making fuck??"
     
    Yeah but do chick flicks have memorable quotes? I'm not so sure. A lot of the movies on the original list are "common ground", so to speak, and most of the quotes from them are male quotes.
     
    Yeah but do chick flicks have many memorable quotes? I'm not so sure. Besides, a lot of the films in the original AFI list are "Common Ground", so to speak, and most of those quotes are by men. I think it's just a fact that most memorable lines are spoken by male actors/characters.
     
    oops. posted that twice.
     
    Quote form a women...err sort of..:
    "he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy"..does that count???

    "It's a fair cop"

    "and after the spanking... the oral sex" "perhaps I could stay a bit longer"

    "Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here"

    "I'm not a witch I'm not" "but you are dressed as one" "they dressed me this way, this isn't even proper nose" "???did you dress her this way???" "a bit a bit.. we did do the nose..and the hat..."

    oh and one note about Nick's fine list.... too long... as are mine above but I was reaching.... I feel influencing the pop culture means that people use it... they do not use paragraph length quotes.. but rather one liners... if I find the time I really must contribute an entire list... this really is a good topic... perhaps a rehash next Friday would be of interest?
     
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