Libertarian Librarian

One game to go and we still don't know a whole lot of anything. Sheesh. The Fearsome Canines locked up the #1 seed, and the Stumbling Alcoholics and Metal Mayhem are in the playoff. The other three playoff spots are wide open, with six teams still alive for those slots. On the flip side, the Barkeeps, Dimestick Cowboys and Knights Who Say Ni are locked into the Barrel Bowl, but the final slot in the Dregs of the League competition is still up for grabs.

v. 11 #11

Standings

The "Inconceivable!" Division
1. Stumbling Alcoholics, 8-4, 576.1
2. Metal Mayhem, 8-4, 563.0
3. Renaissance Men, 7-5, 536.7
4. Motor City Cheeseheads, 6-6, 592.7
5. Hairballs, 6-6, 588.3
6. Diamond Boys, 6-6, 539.6
7. Knights Who Say Ni, 4-8, 537.6

The "Flowers are still standing!" Division
1. Fearsome Canines, 9-3, 711.2
2. Chocolate Foam, 7-5, 514.7
3. Centurions, 6-6, 595.4
4. Posts, 6-6, 590.5
5. Snowmobilers, 5-7, 560.4
6. Dimestick Cowboys, 4-8, 521.0
7. Bartenders, 2-8, 425.9

If the playoffs were today…
1. Fearsome Canines, 9-3, 711.2
2. Stumbling Alcoholics, 8-4, 576.1
3. Metal Mayhem, 8-4, 563.0
4. Renaissance Men, 7-5, 536.7
5. Chocolate Foam, 7-5, 514.7
6. Centurions, 595.4

On the outside looking in:
7. Motor City Cheeseheads, 6-6, 592.7
7. Motor City Cheeseheads, 592.7

If the Barrel Bowl were today…
11. Snowmobilers, 5-7, 560.4
12. Knights Who Say Ni, 4-8, 537.6
13. Dimestick Cowboys, 4-8, 521.0
14. Bartenders, 2-10, 425.9

On the edge of ignominity...
10. Diamond Boys, 6-6, 539.6

If the Terribly Average Bowl were today...
7. Motor City Cheeseheads, 6-6, 592.7
8. Posts, 6-6, 590.5
9. Hairballs, 6-6, 588.3
10. Diamond Boys, 6-6, 539.6

Stat of the Week I: If the Playoffs started this week, all four of the teams in the Terribly Average Bowl would be 6-6. Nice.

Stat of the Week II: Coach Jim of the Chocolate Foam has the second lowest point total in the league, averaging a meager 42.9 points a game. He's currently 7-5 and if he wins this week, he makes the playoffs. The football gods are clearly quirky folks with extremely twisted senses of humor.

PICKUP ALERT: There are still weekly pickups. Pickups are in inverse order of record with points as the tie-breaker for teams with the same record. You can enter your choices on the web site, or email/call them into me. Please do so before Wednesday, 9:00 PM Central Time. Pickups will continue until the Wed. after the regular season ends. Two more pickup periods, folks.

TRADES: No new trades before the deadline. Trading is now anthema. Violators will be mercilessly mocked and rapidly ridiculed.

Fearsome Canines, 9-3, 711.2
With their 62.4 to 58.3 victory over the Centurions, the Fearsome Canines officially locked up the "Flowers are still standing!" Division and a first round bye. Well done, Scottie. Take a couple of weeks off. Extra bonus for the Fearsome Canines-- their stars are Chargers and Bengals, two teams that will likely be battling for their playoff lives until the bitter end of the regular season, so the Canines are unlikely to lose any critical players in weeks 15 and 16. Forecast: #1 seed, first round bye.

Stumbling Alcoholics, 8-4, 576.1
With their narrow win, 53.6 to 51.4, over the Snowmobilers, the Alcoholics moved back into the lead of the "Inconceivable!" Division. They also secured a playoff berth. Their week 13 matchup with the Hairballs is still important to the drunken ones, as they need a win, or a loss by the Metal Mayhem, to secure the #2 seed and first round bye. Forecast: In the playoffs and will be either the #2 or #3 seed.

Metal Mayhem, 8-4, 563.0
The Chocolate Foam played four players that would've been better warming the bench, and the Mayhem still couldn't beat them, dropping a disappointing 44.5 to 39.6 game. The loss dropped them out of the lead for their division, and left them 13.1 points behind the Stumbling Alcoholics. Despite the loss, the Mayhem did secure a playoff berth, and now must defeat the Renaissance Men and hope the Hairballs can defeat the Alcoholics tin order to get the first round bye and #2 seed. Forecast: In the playoffs and will be either the #2 or #3 seed.

Renaissance Men, 7-5, 536.7
They have the fourth lowest point total in the league, but the other 7-5 team is worse than they are. Yikes. Anyway, the Renaissance Men likely need a victory over the Metal Mayhem in week 13 to retain their spot in the playoffs. With five 6-6 teams, all with more points, a 7-6 record seems unlikely to get the old rusty dudes into the playoffs. A win should secure them the #4 seed. Forecast: #4 seed with a victory. Most likely out of the playoffs with a loss.

Chocolate Foam, 7-5, 514.7
The Chicago Bears of our fantasy football league did it again last week, winning with the fourth lowest point total for the week, 44.5 to 39.6. If the Foam can pull off one more victory against the Snowmobilers this weekend, they will secure either the #4 or #5 seed in the playoffs. A loss almost certainly, though not assuredly, bounces them from the playoffs. Forecast: #4 or #5 seed with a victory. Most likely out of the playoffs with a loss.

Centurions, 6-6, 595.4
Despite a tough 58.3 to 62.4 loss to the Fearsome Canines, the Centurions remained in the playoff picture by virtue of their regaining the points lead-- though the Motor City Cheeseheads, Posts and Hairballs are all within seven points of Coach Adam's squad. A win combined with a loss by either the Ren Men or Foam should secure the Centurions a playoff berth on record, unless the Posts and Hairballs also win and outscore the Centurions by 5 and 7.1 respectively. Messy, messy. A loss may still get them into the playoffs as the #6 seed provided they keep their point lead. Forecast: Can finish anywhere from #4 to #6 or completely out of the playoffs. A win is certainly helpful, but scoring bucketloads of points may be almost as important as winning.

Motor City Cheeseheads, 6-6, 592.7
A victory over the Barkeeps kept the Motor City Cheeseheads playoff dreams alive, and the 53.2 points didn't hurt. The Cheeseheads need a win over the Centurions, combined with a loss by the Ren Men or Chocolate Foam, to have a shot at the #4 or #5 seed, but if they lose and Centurions secure either the fourth or fifth seed, the Cheeseheads can still get into the playoffs as the #6 seed if they aren't outscored by the Posts or Hairballs by more than 2.3 and 4.5 respectively. Follow that? Of course, if both the Ren Men and Foam lose, and either or both of the Posts and Hairballs win, one of them may secure the #4 or #5 seed, meaning the Cheeseheads would need only to outscore the other. Um... right. Forecast: Can finish anywhere from #4 to #6 or completely out of the playoffs, but scoring bucketloads of points may be almost as important as winning.

Posts, 6-6, 590.5
Defeated the Ren Men, 49.9 to 42.6 to run their winning streak to six. With a win over the Kanniggits, they could jump into the #4 or #5 spot-- unless the Foam and/or Ren Men win and/or whoever wins the Centurions v. Cheeseheads matchup scores sufficiently less than them and/or the Hairballs win and outscore them. Ye gods, what a mess. Plus, they could also be the #6 seed, particularly if the winner of the Centurions/Cheeseheads game grabs the #4 or #5 seed. Forecast: Can finish anywhere from #4 to #6 or completely out of the playoffs, but scoring bucketloads of points may be almost as important as winning.

Hairballs, 6-6, 588.3
Losing 46.5 to 53.5 to the Diamond Boys greatly damaged their playoff hopes. Now, they are in the same boat as the Posts, Cheeseheads and Centurions, only with a few less points. Forecast: Can finish anywhere from #4 to #6 or completely out of the playoffs, but scoring bucketloads of points may be almost as important as winning.

Diamond Boys, 6-6, 539.6
Chances are slim, but if the Foam, Ren Men, Posts and Hairballs all lose (which is possible), and the Diamond Boys beat the Dimestick Cowboys, they would likely sneak in as the #5 seed. Unless the Ren Men lose, but still outscore the Diamond Boys by 3.0 or more. Forecast: Faint hope of securing the #5 seed, but more likely a Terribly Average Bowl participant.

Snowmobilers, 5-7, 560.4
No hope of making the playoffs after losing a heartbreaker to the Alcoholics last week, 51.4 to 53.6, but the Snowmobilers need to knock off the Foam in week 13 to, hopefully, escape the Barrel Bowl. Best case scenario is a victory coupled with a Diamond Boys loss. Forecast: Most likely a Barrel Bowl participant, but a victory could get them to the #10 seed.

Knights Who Say Ni, 4-8, 537.6
Barrel Bowl bound. The only question is whether they will be seeded 11th, 12th, or 13th. Actually, 11th would be a stretch, so mostly its a battle with the Dimestick Cowboys for 12th. Forecast: 12th or 13th seed in the Barrel Bowl, with a remote shot at #11.

Dimestick Cowboys, 4-8, 521.0
Barrel Bowl bound, though they did keep alive their hopes of eclipsing the four wins the Update predicted for them at the beginning of the year. Forecast: 12th or 13th seed in the Barrel Bowl, with a very remote shot at #11.

Barkeeps, 2-10, 425.9
Locked into the #14 seed. Hoping to find some answers before week 14 and the start of the Barrel Bowl. Forecast: #14 seed in the Barrel Bowl.

Labels: Sports