Libertarian Librarian

Here's the scenario: you've just been stranded on a desert island, and though you may be stranded there for years, maybe forever, you have an unlimited supply of food. But only a limited number of kinds of food. Plenty of water-- no alcoholic beverages. If you could choose, what 25 foods would you pick? The choices need to be specific-- you can't pick "fresh fruit." Presuppose that in this magical scenario, you have the ability to prepare said food in any manner necessary. Just food. Not drink. Unlimited spices and condiments are mysteriously available. Spreads (peanut butter, jelly, butter, etc.) are considered a food.

25) Girl Scout Thin Mints. Simply the best cookie, ever. Okay, in truth, if I was actually in the situation of having to choose, I'd probably pick something more practical, but since it's just a hypothetical, I'm keeping the Thin Mints.

24) Haddock. A product of my Wisconsin heritage, I must have something to eat for a Friday Fish Fry. Cod would also work.

23) Popcorn. My favorite snack food. And since I have butter lower down the list, this is all good. Hot buttered popcorn rocks.

22) Crab. I actually like crab better than lobster. And since I have butter lower down the list, this is all good. Fresh crab dipped in hot butter totally rocks.

21) Spaghetti. Carbs, baby. Versatile, too-- butter (lower down the list-- did I mention that?), tomato sauce, mixed with other foods on the list.

20) Tomatoes. Good by themselves, and useful when added to other things like pasta and sandwiches.

19) Crusty white bread. Not Wonderbread or the like. Something with a little heft to it.

18) Apples. Ideally, lots of different kinds. Is that a violation of my premise? Yeah, it is. Crap. Okay, if I have to pick one kind, I'd go with Macintoshes-- tasty, and they bake well. They'd also come in handy if I get stranded without a toothbrush.

17) Cheddar Cheese. The other cheeses are good, but for me, nothing beats a good mild or medium cheddar.

16) Oranges. To prevent scurvy. Plus, they're really tasty. And they make good juice.

15) Eggs. Good source of protein, and they play well with a lot of the other foods on this list.

14) Lettuce. Love a good salad, plus it just wouldn't be a good list if I didn't have all of the ingredients for a BLT, the world's most perfect sandwich.

13) Colorado peaches. Not the mealy, juiceless ones from Florida and California-- the incredibly tasty, juicy peaches that, for God knows what reason, seem to enjoy the Colorado climes. If you haven't had one... well, bummer for you.

12) Turkey. For Thanksgiving. And sandwiches. And soup. And deep frying.

11) Sausage. What kind? Do I have to narrow it down? Crap. Okay, Italian then.

10) Strawberries. My favorite fruit. Plus, they go well with #2 and #7.

9) French fries. I listed popcorn as my favorite snack food, so I'll have to call these my favorite fast food.

8) Rice. Must have side dishes-- and you can't always have spaghettie or frendh fries.

7) Chocolate Ice Cream. As much as I enjoy grease and salt, there has to be a bit of sweetness on the island.

6) Bacon. I'm not a huge pork fan, ham and pork chops are okay, but I do love bacon. Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon. Mmmm... fattening. Plus, where would the eggs be without the bacon?

5) Butter. It makes so many other things better. What a great food. Of course, my time on the island might be short as I collapse from the massive coronary caused by my clogged arteries, but it's a chance you have to take.

4) Fried chicken. Deep fried. Of course there's a deep frier on the island. Duh!

3) Ground beef. So tasty, so versatile. Plus, it can work with the butter to clog up my arteries!

2) Chocolate. I am a bit of a chocoholic. It would be difficult to never have anything chocolate. The island would suck, man.

1) Porterhouse steak. If I could only pick ten things, steak would not be this high. Heck, it might not even make the list, since I think I would get tired of it if I had it too often. But with 24 other things, there is room to include enough variety, and a good porterhouse has to be at the top of my list.

Damn, now I'm hungry. All right, I'm off to find something greasy and salted. Have a good weekend everyone.

Labels: Lists