A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library. ~Shelby Foote

Friday, August 04, 2006

Friday’s List: the Top Everyday Complaints

You list them with me. Let’s have it; the list of small but bothersome things; the nuisances that bite your ankles and shred your serenity.


Internet radio stations that run an ad after every two songs.

Forgetting to change the razor blade—yet again.

The checkout girl frowning when you look at her amply displayed cleavage.

Signs in Spanish in stores and government offices.

PA announcements in Spanish at Wal Mart.

Inadvertently seeing anything about Paris Hilton.

Finding a pubic hair in your toothbrush.

Hard tile floors of Wal Mart. Let’s get some carpet down there!

Someone talking on a cell phone who cuts you off in traffic.

Teenagers who can text-message a million words per minute, but can’t put together a coherent sentence when you talk to them.

Losing the bid at the last two seconds on Ebay.

Someone’s dog crapping on your lawn.

A quote from Howard Dean, John Francois Kerry, Hillary Clinton, or Harry Reid being treated as undying wisdom by the press.

The checkout girl frowning when you examine the tattoo just under her thong.

The dog next door barking all night long.

Anyone’s pants hanging halfway down their ass.

The annoying and repetitive music of a game console – when you’re not playing.

The Sunday morning paper not there on time.

Someone in the car in front of you flinging a lit cigarette out the window, and the fiery butt rolls under your car.

Enjoying a nice chicken enchilada and chomping into a disgusting bit of gristle.

Someone saying “what’s that?” when you're composing a blog entry at work.

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Comments:
When someone at work takes the last drop of coffee, but doesn't take the fifteen to thirty seconds necessary to start brewing a new pot.

When you attempt to pass someone and they then decide to pace you as soon as you get alongside them.
 
People who pull out in front of you--despite the fact that there is nobody behind you-- and then proceed to putz along at 5 miles an hour below the speed limit.

Anyone making inane attempts at conversation by commenting on the weather. "Hot enough for you?" No, actually, I was hoping that the temperature would rise another hundred degrees so I could actually watch myself melt. Really I was hoping it could get just a bit hotter, because sweating through my clothes in five minutes really isn't that satisfying-- three minutes or less!
 
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